jason [entries|friends|calendar] (¯`·.¸¸.-☆it's all about to C.r.A.c.K. ☆-.¸¸.·´¯) [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

コメントする [07 May 2005|09:03pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | The Sleeping beauty [still!] ] Leah and I went out together to-day to go shopping. I had my first binge in a long long long time. I went to the KFC to throw up (it's sort of an running gag [omg get it gag] that I always purge in this KFC because its right across from the 3 little korean places I always binge at -- plus we have a vegan injoke about using kfc's washrooms). She didn't seem too upset but I could tell she was hiding it. (She doesn't know about this journal, btw) Well I only purge once or twice a week now, and I am doing pretty well with not eating anything or not eating much. Usually I go 18 to 24 hours without eating anything and then I have some grapes and whole grains and cheese. I bought some light cranberry and light apple juice the other day, since we ran out of green tea leaves : [ When I see Leah again (Monday) we're going to have to get some as I am going crazy without my tea! GOSH After you purge, and you haven't in a while, you kind of realise that you were numbed to its effects when you did it 3-5 times a day . . . your ribs and back feel hollow, and it hurts your bones in your torso to walk around. Everything feels a little empty, a little drained, but so so good. So so empty and so so good. It was a great day. It feels so good to purge. I just have to say that. It Feels So Good. j

コメントする [06 May 2005|07:01pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | pas d'action / The Sleeping Beauty ] I'm having a very hard time not eating anything. I haven't eaten for 17 and 1/2 hours. I will eat at 6 if I so desire. See, it goes in 6 hour cycles. So 12, 6, 12, 6. But if I'm not hungry at that time, then I have to wait until the next time (there's a one hour lenience period I think). Hopefully this will show me what it's like to starve. And then soon I can go to the gym and I won't have to starve, I can just be like normal again. Sweet. Sweet baby sweet. So at 6.45 - 7.00, I got 2 ounces of mozarella cheese, 1 cup of grapes, and 3 crackers. I think I should have only gotten 1 ounce of cheese, but the other amounts seemed alright. I was already full and out of crackers and there was one ounce left but I ate it anyway. It's okkay, I won't stress over it. I think that nutritionally, this provides about 18 g protein, 19 g fat, and 400 calories. This isn't a very healthy balance, i don't think. As I said, it should have been 10 g protein, 11 g fat, and 300 calories. I will cut less cheese next time. (XDOMG that was great). Also I ate it a little quickly but I did really enjoy it and I used the Humpty Dumpty bowl that Leah got at Winners. Super. So, next time: Eat more slowly Keep serving sizes in mind The next time I'll eat will probably be to-morrow after I wake up, or maybe to-night if I stay up late (I'm finishing up some freelance stuff right now). j

コメントする 過食症発券 : ( [30 Apr 2005|07:12pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Tchaikovsky/Siebelius Violin Concerto ] I don't know what to do, I'm going to cry, I have been crying all day. I am so ashamed that he found out. Now its like everyone knows. I feel like I've got the fucking scarlet letter on me. And wha'ts worse is I can never do it again. This means I'm going to have to go from eating a little and throwing it up to just plain starving. But they try to get me to eat all the time. This means bulimia to anorexia. This means joining the Y to burn off the zero caloreis I ate. Becaues no matter what I have to lose 20 pounds. It's 20 now, not 10. I'm gonna have that pretty face that 22 inch waist. I'm gonna have bones for fingers and toothpicks for legs. And a smile that's not broken. I'm gonna be me.

コメントする [24 Apr 2005|12:40am] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Adagio Dvorak's 8th ] Okkay so it is really getting difficult to resist eating . . . so I will write instead. I don't know what to do to keep myself from eating . . . . I think of all the food that would taste good, like an almond butter sandwich or soyanut butter one, with the soft whole wheat bread Debby's parent's brought. Or a tortilla with cheeze and tomatoes and lettuce and chikin. And juice, like orange or carrot or apple or lemonade. I swear, I feel this close to walking downstairs and eating a tortilla from yester-day's supper. Or the browne rice Debby made for me. I just don't know what to do. Don't know what to do! How do I keep from eating? And when is it okkay to eat? Once a day, maybe. But I already ate so much to-day! I had popcorn and some lettuce and chocolate (I don't think I was allergic to it, I'm very glad, since it's a real treat and I never get to eat it). I wish I had some dried fruit, or a candy bar with lots of cocoanut and mango and carob. And pineapple! I want to eat something so o o o o o badly. A black bean burger, french cut potatoes, a salad, a tortilla, popcorn, an apple, a sandwich with deli slices, almond butter, lettuce, avocadoes, cheeze, anything! Please, why can't I eat? Is this how it as to be for the rest of my life? I don't understand. When do you get used to it? Okkay, I'm in control. My head can reel, I can pass out, I can twitch and moan and cry in hunger, but really, I have to PHYSICALLY walk downstairs and cut the tomatoes and onions and put the bread into my mouth. It's a physical effort, so I can totally control it. Why do I feel like I'm not controlling it? I am so hungry, I need food so so much, that I feel like my body's not connected to my mind, like i'm going to get up and walk downstairs and eat something I will regret eating, because I can't control it! Oh my GOSH what do I DO? Okkay, I'm really in control. It's all me. Whether I'm reading, playing violin, sleeping, eating, or watching telvision, I am doing it. I can keep myself from doing anything I want to. If I let myself slip 'out of control' (a state which is not really real) then it is different. Oh my gosh. I am really hungry. My back hurts from it. I'm getting these huge pains in my stomach and back. But I'm still fat! So I can't eat. Maybe when I'm thin, I will begin eating when I'm hungry. Not a lot, just a little. But every bite I DON'T eat now when I'm hungry means one molecule of fat that's not on my stomach to-morrow. Maybe I can lose 15 or 20 pounds by next month . . . that doesn't seem too hard to do. It's 38 days until the next month (I'm just guessing, I don't really know).

コメントする [20 Apr 2005|04:27pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Wozzeck ] Well I'm really trying not to purge much . . . Like when I have to, it's okkay, but I shouldn't be addicted to it like this. Ideally though of course I shouldn't have to at all. I tried to eat something this morning, and i felt so so sick. I just couldn't keep it down. Food just doesn't taste good any more. I never crave it. But sometimes I feel like I HAVE to eat, my body is asking for calories or nutrients or something. It's a little depressing . . . it's VERY depressing. Other than that, I'm weakly okay. Hey Rocky is on Friday this month! It's a week early. O_O Whoah well at least this weekend I'll have something to DO. *needs job* :\ j

コメントする [19 Apr 2005|11:25am] [ mood | depressed ] I don't have a job this summer. I haven't been online a lot until this w33k. I miss talking to some people who I used to talk to; since i don't have any real friends. I think mostly I have been too depressed to write anything lately; journal or otherwise. Even a fucking grocery list. Not that I go shopping any more. But shopping does make me feel better, if its not for food. J don't slip into this again; you're becoming anorexic, you can feel it. Winding around j00 so tite and neverletting go. I dont think the most important thing in life is anything at all. I think that everything is just as important and unimportant as everything else; there is no contrast because these 'qualities' assigned are only interpretations of our emotional states of conscious. Somewhere inside us all there is an id, a 'first circuit' as Leary would say, and this is what is real. Everything else is pizza toppings. But deep deep down inside, we are all nothing at all. j

コメントする posted this accidentally to _thinnest . . . X[ *shoots self* [18 Mar 2005|03:36pm] [ mood | angry ] I'm kind of upset . . . I thought I was over purging, and for about two days I was actually eating totally normally . . . just as much as I needed, not over eating, and it was just healthy good food that made me feel good. But then just now I did a weird thing where I just felt like I NEEDED to eat something even though I was really really full! And I felt gross because my arms are so fat and when I stand up the insides of my thighs just barely touch each other and it makes me feel so gross! Anyway I had bought this new really nice bread from my favourite health food store and I had like 6 slices with oil and sweet rice wine! WTF it makes me so sad. Time to go stare at my toilet bowl reflection until I'm coughing up acid. God i'm so pretty X( j

コメントする [13 Mar 2005|11:19pm] [ mood | tired ] 'The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still favorable. Favorable conditions never come.' • C.S. Lewis

コメントする [12 Mar 2005|07:01pm] [ mood | sick ] Well I really fucked up this time. I don't know what happened. I like rye bread, so I went to this weird conventional grocer and bought some retarded 100% bleached wheat flour loaf, becuase it has rye and pumpernickel in it. But it had so much white flour it just fucked me up. I got sick as A FUCKIGN DOG i feel so awful. I basically have influenza kids. Yeah that sucks. And plus I had not slept in 72 hours or whatever and am having withdrawal from the sleeping pills like a mother fucking bitch. so I just ate like for millard tons of cking bread and i drank 1 cup of oil i have no fucking idea why but i'm getting better. i think i'll go purge again in a minute and then when my stomach's empty i;ll have some tea. okkay ehres what i'm going to do: 1. never over eat again. 2. only eat what i want when iw ant it how muchi want just nice all natural stuff that makesme feel good. or like if i want some rye bread then not so much itmakes em sick 3. hpefully never puge again. becuase i never NEEDto purge agin. because ti feels so good that i remember how good it was to feel it. 4. only eat something that will leave me in ecstasy. otherwise, drink some tea or read af uckign book. if i wont remmeer how good it was the next day then why bother? 5. read and draw every day. do a daily composition, write poetry 6. updates regsites rgularly. not e so lazy aobut the liternet. 7. go to sleep better. watch animated movies. have fun. have popcorn. love okkay i think life iwill get better starting now j

コメントする little dream desires [11 Mar 2005|01:25am] [ mood | crushed ] Well I just got the Internet back. In the meantime I have been pretty steady, had a few binge/purge things (two I think). But the major difference is that I have had mini binges and NOT purged, like just NOT. I just waited, and eventually it felt gross but not terrible, and then I forgot about it. Seriously it doesn't make you fatter to fuck up just one day, or even two. It just doesn't make you thinner. And I know that if I'm not thin soon I will just kill myself so it doesn't matter anyway, if I lose it slowly or quickly. I can always just pretend. Yea I am playing pretend a lot these days. Its like playing house or xmen or something like when you were little. I woudl always play ninja turtles, or like games where I was a super heroe, but what i liked most is to just draw and read and study. But now all I like to do is EAT. /me wants rye pumpernickle bread, dipped in lots and lots of oil. with some vinegar. and green tea. and chai tea. and bread. and oil. but instead, I will not have this. I will not have anything. I am already full. I ate supper already, it was a large one because I had not eaten much the last two days and had purged a few times. So I am content now. I just need to drink the tea and forget about the bread and oil. Or not forget, just realise I don't really want to eat it. I want to taste it. But if I chewed it up and did not swallow but spit it out, it would satisfy me. Therefore I do not need to do anything at all. Jason is a man of little needs and few desires. And big big dreams j

コメントする sugar& spice [28 Feb 2005|01:18am] [ mood | chipper ] Well my mouth is sloooowly healing. I can't believe that sugarandsalt did this to it. Before a few days ago I hadn't had white sugar in YEARS and then I ate two cookys and a bunch of unrefined sugar and salt and my mouth is torn apart! I have a huge sore on my lip that hurts all day long and my lips are cracked and coated with dead skin that hasn't peeled off yet. And my tongue is half-burnt so its hard to taste anything. I had yet another cooky to-day and a candy bar, too. I didn't have any cereal cooked but I kept on needing some so all I could eat was toufu to try to calm my stomach. So I had a bunch of toufu, which was quite tasty, and half an apple. Then for supper I had nuts and raisins to ease my starch craving while my rice cooked. I'm still waiting on that rice, and am soaking some kelp for a soup. Mmmm supper. Tuesday is the first, so it's sekigohan day! Oh boy I can't wait. I soaked the red beans to-night in preparation hooray. j

コメントする Oh the loooord is goooood to meeeeeee [27 Feb 2005|01:17am] [ mood | crazy ] If I had all the willpower in the universe, I would be just like Johnny Appleseed. I wouldn't need anything except a pot to keep the rain out, a benevolent task to keep me busy, and a good book to make me think and feel love (although I wouldn't pick The Good Book I'm pretty sure). Johnny Appleseed walked across the country barefoot, doing something kind for someone else. He was a part of nature and he didn't hurt anything. He was a total introvert but cared for others at the same time. He gave thanks for what he had, was modest and good hearted, and always sang and was happy, and didn't mind the cold or rain or snow or sun or anything. Well that was 1805 but in 2005 if I had all the willpower in the world, I would do these things: 1. Exercise every day. Like maybe run a lot. And 'train'. I want to be able to say that to people, like "I just started training". Like run 20 miles or something. I don't know, anything would be nice. Like running for an hour every day or half an hour or like, at all! I love running, it makes me feel so good! I just can't get up and do it at 6.00 every morning in the winter. I don't know, I just can't. 2. Do my work. Like for school, or start a business, or whatever, just like WORK. I have a hardworking spirit, but I am not currently hardworking. I don't know why, I used to be, but I'm just kind of in 'slacker mode'. I don't know why, but its like I just try to shirk work, even if it's something I chose to undertake, and its something I enjoy. Like, oh I'll draw a comic book! No I dont want to do that! What a chore! I mean it's not like shoveling horse shit for $6 an hour or something. Geezus fucking christ. 3. I would read a lot. And write a lot. And study a lot. Just do things that build my intelligenc eand mind a lot. It makes me feel good do those things, but instead I just do lazy things. Like, type in my LJ. >_< 4. Do sit ups and lift weights, do weighted aerobics, that sort of thing. I'm serious I love it and it feels so fucking good. Better than anything else. I just love it, but I'm so fucking LAZY! God I can't explain it, I just can't do it, maybe its winter, maybe it's just me, I don't know! :-( 5. Put a lot of care into preparing nice food, and eating just a little, like maybe a half-cup ish amount, not more than I need. Not taking mroe than I need, and giving to others. I just want to do that, it would make me feel good to be able to do that. But let's be realistic here. There are lots of things I want to do, I just named 5 that I think about a lot. Well I'm not going to run probably, that's not likely. Maybe I'll see if I can cancel the gym membership and get my money back. If not, I should make a promise to go back there. It's just a few minutes away, and it's really not that cold that early. I can still get to school on time, and I'm not usually hungry for breakfast anyway until 9 or 10 because of the sleeping pills. I could do abs every day, and I could 'study' by listening to tapes and just reading. I could certainly apply myself to writing and drawing with mroe vim. Maybe removing distractions would help me work more. Don't worry Jason you can do this, you can do it. You can be Jason Appleseed Get out son and get a going Get them apple trees a growin There's a lot of work out there to do! Oh there's a lot of work to dooooo j

コメントする The root of it all [26 Feb 2005|01:16am] [ mood | drained ] Today was crazy. You see guys I don't have any food. I told myself, I have to start worrying about money, so I thought I ought to live very frugally. I only spent about $10 on myself this month, the rest was for bills and rent. And I decided not to buy any more food than I need as a bare minimum, aside of course from fresh fruits and vegetables, which are a good price any way. Thing is a lot of the organic fruits come from California this time of year, so things like avocadoes and tomatoes were expensive for a while, but prices are declining. Oh right I said to-day was crazy. That's because I went to buy food for the first time in three weeks. I told myself, just get what you need, so I did. But I also bought many snacks and things, just because I hadn't had anything sweet and tasty like that in a while. So I had two cookies and two candy bars and some other things from the vegan bakery. It was so cold I couldn't feel anything, but I was sure I was full by that time. I kept on at it though, of course, and on an impulse bought a granola bar from a natural bakery that I had always wanted to try. I took one bite and it wasn't very good. I finished it anyway, but each bite got drier and drier and it tasted so WEIRD, like nothing I'd ever had before. Then I got home and my lips were feeling very chapped. I had assumed it was the cold but no amount of water can sooth my tongue, feels like its been burnt. And my lips feel like they're coated in something, like dead skin or glue almost. It feels so strange, but it feels like I have felt it before in the past. I started getting this strange feeling in the back of my throat too. I thought I must be getting sick, and I got kind of worried. Then I saw the wrapper on the granola bar and it has eggs in it. As soon as I read that, in my mind I got a picture of an egg, and the yolk of an egg. And that is exactly what the feeling is, I can still remember what it feels like to touch the yolk of an egg, the way it dries like glue on your skin, the way it sits in your stomach like bubbling lead, and the way that egg has created some kind of reaction all over my lips and tongue and mouth and throat. Yuck it feels so gross, not just the egg, which isn't a huge deal, I'm sure it will go away by morning, but just I wish I didn't eat so much, and the problem is, its not just health or fat or whatever, it's money now too. I counted it up, and just to-day I spent $8 on snacky foods! And $25 on a month's worth of staples, and this week's worth of produce. I'm just worried is all. I thought at first, okkay, I'll just throw up. Because I really do feel sooooooo good after I throw up, and I'm all empty inside, and I look at the huge mess of flour and egg in the toilet and can't believe it all fit in my body. But I know that if I do, I'll just overeat the next morning. And that will just start the cycle over again. I'm thinking about it, anarexia. But in a more controlled way, not so crazy as it was years ago. Not out of control. But then, I think, why not just eat normally, why do I eat so much, why don't I stop? I wish I could get to the root of it all. The root of it all. The root of it all. For some reason I have that song from Johnny Appleseed stuck in my head: The lord is good to me And so I thank the lord For giving me the things I need The sun and rain and an apple seed Yes, he's been good to me . . . j

コメントする FAT [21 Feb 2005|01:16am] [ mood | angry ] I can always turn back to anarexia if I want to. It didn't work. But hey, neither did eating 1800 calories a day. Or doing abs and weights 5x a week and running 5 miles a day. Nope, that didn't work. Neither did yoga, pilates, or Kathy fucking Smith. Yes I did Kathy fucking Smith videos for TWO FUCKING YEARS and no it DID NOT FUCKING WORK. It felt good but NO it DID NOT FUCKING WORK. ANAREXIA DOESN'T WORK. No fucking duh it doesn't make you healthy, but it does not make you a fucking stick. It doesn't make you too thin, thin enough, or thin at all. You just stay FAT FAT FAT. BULEMIA DOESN'T WORK. ORTHOREXIA DOESN'T WORK. You just stay just like you are. If you are fat, then you stay FAT FAT FAT j

コメントする [20 Feb 2005|01:15am] [ mood | scared ] Okkay this is scaring the shit out of me. I don't know, it's weird, eating all the time. I mean I'm definetly overeating. I can't stop, I eat too much, past the nose-running stage. But that's normal, soon I'll just get over it and eat 'right'. I stopped purging. I broke the cycle of empty stuffed empty stuffed. So that's done. And I can always purge if I want to, or not. It's up to me. I'm in control by not controlling myself. That's the problem with power. If you have power you abuse it, like Stalin, Hitler, Musselini. All bulemics and anarexics and orthorexics and over eaters do this. They abuse the power to put whatever the fuck in their mouths and take whatever the fuck out. j

コメントする [19 Feb 2005|01:15am] [ mood | crappy ] I discovered the problem with purging. (D00d that could be a book, The Problem With Purging. Or like a Cohen Bros movie.) Okkay, when you purge, you're empty. Good. A fresh start. But no, you don't start fresh. You don't eat what you should have eaten, or stop when you should have stopped. And you'd think you'd be hungry after but no of course not. You don't eat for hours. And then, of course, you over eat again. And purge again. And again and again and again. Yeah, I've purged twice now. Twice. And to-morrow I guarantee I will do it again. j

コメントする [18 Feb 2005|01:14am] [ mood | depressed ] I can't take it. I tried no rulz. And I went back to bulemia. That dark scary road through the creepy Snow White forest. A trea jumps out at you, logs turn to crocs, and your arm shoots back down your throat. Up comes the warm hot whateverthefuck mush of the shit you just ate that tasted so good at first and then made you wanna puke at the end of the big big big fucking bowl. And you did. You fucking did. It's okkay. It's not okkay. It will be okkay. I'm going to die. That's okkay. j

コメントする take me to your mirror spin me round an round [30 Jan 2005|02:19pm] [ mood | sick ] My hand is starting to get all speckled from vomiting. The acid is corroding it. The back of my throat is all stripped off. It hurts to swallow some morningts, feels like someone's running a knife down my gullet. And my hands...the knuckles are bright red, like I was burnt, and there are little burns that look like sunspots or pimples, all over the back of my hand. It hurts so much, when the acid is running all over my arm and face. The corner of my mouth is also chewed away, and the sore cracks and aches every time I talk. I think it's starting to get infected, because it hurts when I touch it like there's pus inside. Fuck I'm so hot. j

コメントする doppelganger [29 Jan 2005|07:17am] [ mood | crazy ] Two weeks after I made this post, on 12 January, 2005, after 23 brite, blonde years, I did it. My name is Jason Brokovich. But I look like Joyce DeWitt. j

コメントする The Truth [28 Jan 2005|10:15am] [ mood | drained ] The last three days have been insanity. It's all been one crazy regurgitated dream, like a movie, like the life of somebody else. I can barely even remember it. On Monday night I stayed up all night long, intending to do homework and yoga but doing neither. I also didn't go to the gym Tuesday morning. In class that day I fell asleep halfway through the first class, remained asleep all lunch, went to half of the next class, and then said I had to leave early. I went home, intending to go to sleep. That's when the madness began. I had a huge fried pastry and a slice of cake the size of four of my hands. It was really difficult to finish it all, but I managed to eat the entire thing. Then I went and purged it. It came up really easily. I fell asleep at 7.30 that evening. I woke up at 11.00 the next day. I had already missed most of my first class so I decided to stay home and just do homework to-day. But that's not what I did. I had another enormous slice of cake - chocolate (I'm allergic). And a huge slice of apple pie. And another deep fried pastry. It was very difficult to eat it all, especially the pie. I purged it immediately. It was a little harder coming up, and there was more to purge. I went home, I was exhausted. I behaved normally after that (as far as eating habits). I stayed up all night doing the homework for the next day. I did yoga and went to the gym on Thursday morning. I was on time for school and was not very tired for most of the class. Then, with one hour to go, I crashed. I mean _crashed_ I almost fell on my feet several times before I had to leave the room. I went to lie down and I didn't wake up until class was over. I thought I woudl sleep during lunch break, but I didn't. I was tired, I was talking crazily to myself and people would laugh at everything I said but I didn't know why. Someone said I sounded high; I'm not surprised. Surprisingly I went to my afternoon class and was attentive during the entire thing. I did outstanding work and performed at the top of my class, unanimously producing the best work of anybody in that period. My night class was a different story. In the break between the classes, which is 1 and 1/2 hours, I started to fall asleep. I was standing up when it hit. It was like a shock, not just a lazily falling asleep, but a lightning bolt zagging through my body and causing me to shake and I fell to the floor. I hope no body saw me. I realised then that I was very, very hungry. I wanted some kind of pizza, but the only vegan pizza place was too far away to get back to in time. I considered getting dairy pizza and taking the cheese off, but even a conventional pizza place was too far to get to. I didn't know what to do. Waffling between crazvings, I went into over-drive. I went to every convenience store on the block (of which there are many) several times, in one, out the other, in one again, and back out the other, over and over. Finally, I got 1) an entire cake 2) a doughnut 3) 2 chocolate cookys 4) a peanut bar (I'm allergic) 5) some chocolate 6) some vinegar potato chips. I ate half of the doughnut, half of the cake and everything else. I also had a macaroon. I was already late to class. I went to purge in the school toilet but nothing would come out. Nothing. I was so worried. I spent an hour in the bathroom, got maybe one or two bites out of my gut. I was so so worried like I've never been. I told the teacher I was feeling sick, would have to catch a cab and get home early, because I was faint in the head. I didn't take a cab. I walked. My legs froze. When I got home I didn't know what was happening to my body. Everything was bright pink in the early stages of frostbite and I just fell to the bed and quivered maniacally for about ten minutes. Then I got up and went to the bathroom. I got everything out. I intended to stay up all night and do homework. But instead, after 32 hours, I fell asleep. I slept 8 hours that night, waking up to-day for the first time at my normal time, 5.30, on the dot. Exactly, on the dot. But I was so hungry I couldn't do yoga. I had more than I normally eat. I had an entire banana (like those big organic ones) and 1/4 cup of walnuts and 2 T of raisins. I am very very stuffed but I had to have it, because I have not had much of anything yesterday, that stayed down. I do not intend to go to the gym to-day, even though I really want to. I'm just not ready. It took 15 minutes to type this statement and I do not have time now to go to the gym. But I had to write this, I had to. You probably don't know how difficult it is for me to say these things I have said. It is like telling a dark secret. I want to lie, and cover it up, but I know it does not matter what I say. Maybe someone will read it. If someone has, I have been saved. I am being redeemed every time the words reach somebody's eyes, because they are all true, every one of them, and it is something I could never do to somebody's face, tell these truths. Someday, I will not have to. Someday, the truth will be something I want to tell. But to-day, I am Jason Brokovich, and this is the truth. j

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]